I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
