he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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