Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
