called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
