I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
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