You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Randomize
