If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
