Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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