Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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