I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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