come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
