Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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