i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
