How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
