Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
