He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
