I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
