I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
a search helicopter?!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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