I'm eating all of the evidence.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
