3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
