I bet he comes in French.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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