I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
