so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
