What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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