3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
