you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
