what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
