so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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