True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
