last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm at about main and main street
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
