everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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