I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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