I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
