Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
