Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
