i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
