lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
