margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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