Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
