the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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