he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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