a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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