Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
