I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
