I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
