Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
