I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
