gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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