I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
