Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Michael Bay diarrhea
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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